


Secret Santa

by NalaNox



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, MEFFW, Secret Santa, admission of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-30 23:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17233460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalaNox/pseuds/NalaNox
Summary: Set in Mass Effect 3.A Christmassy themed fluff/angst piece for the MEFFW Secret Santa.





	Secret Santa

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keita52](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keita52/gifts).



Another year.

Shepard watched her fish swim around the tank in the captains cabin. She looked to her calendar, time tend to become skewed in the vast emptiness of space.

She closed her eyes and felt the swell of anxiety build within her. Christmas has always been hard for Shepard. An orphan and living on the streets she has always watched as children her age entered shops with their parents, pointing out what they wanted.

Their parents smiling wide, picking up a toy or a new electronic, and add it to a mental list. She had steal anything she wanted, she never wanted to, but had to.

She used to watch families have a massive Christmas dinner and she would pretend she had that. She had that family, by that heater, not in the cold and the snow and looking through window like a creep.

Her years of jealousy had made Christmas a horrible period of time. A reminder of her lack of family and love.

“Shepard,” EDI’s voice woke Shepard up from her thoughts, “Liara is at the door.”

“Let her in,” Shepard said and moved to the couch.

Liara stepped in softly, Shepard felt a sharp feeling of suspicion. The crew knew of her distaste towards Christmas. She preferred the company of aliens during this time because of it, they didn’t know human holidays, and she could pass through Christmas without any fuss.

“I have heard that a human holiday was coming up,” Liara looked awkward, Shepard sighed.

“Have the others been talking about it?”

Liara perked up a little and rolled something about in her hand, “yes, they wish to hold a secret Santa.”

“Right,” Shepard was sounding less impressed as things went on.

“They have signed up the whole crew, without much of a choice,” Liara sighed out and rubbed her eyes.

“Do you want me to stop them?”

Liara flung open her eyes and looked at Shepard, “no!” She cleared her throat, “no, of course not, I think it will be fun. They wish me to deliver your secret santa.” The fidgeting stopped and she held out a little, folded piecce of paper to Shepard.

Shepard clenched her jaw and forced a smile, “truly?”

She picked up the piece of paper, and read the name. Her face relaxed and a genuine smile replaced it. In neat text was “Garrus Vakarian”, her best friend and closest ally.

“Just this year,” she warned Liara.

Liara raised an eyebrow and nodded, “I will let them know.” Liara seemed to visibly relax at Shepard’s reaction. She removed herself off the couch and quickly left the Captains Cabin.

Shepard appreciated it, bit her lip and moved to her desk. She pulled up her tablet and began the search through the extranet, Traynor sent the rules through the rules. Nothing over 500 credits.

Shepard racked her brain, she felt her stomach tighten from the excitement of the endevour, her first true Christmas. She still hated Christmas movies and Christmas songs, but this year she could enjoy herself. She wondered what she was going to get, who got her.

It was even enjoyable looking for presents. She decided to buy a decorated box, with a ribbon, and placed memorabilia within it for Garrus.

It was green with sparkly Christmas trees, with a red ribbon. She placed in it a bullet she kept from finding him in Omega, ripped right through her shields and anchored itself in her armour. Sure it was horrible after that point in time, but it was important. She added a picture of them in Mako during one of the many trips on multiple planets, another Garrus calibrating the Normandy guns. Shepard chuckled and shook her head.

She had a thing for printing photos the vintage way, it made it physical and more important, in her eyes.

She looked on line and found a new mod for his sniper, she cringed at the price, it was over the limit, so she saved it for a normal present. She ended up ordering a key chain he could add to anything and a couple of funny stickers of herself. She chuckled.

She also added a card, this one had a hologram face, with a Merry Christmas written along it with flashing lights along the edge of the card. Within it played a Christmas song, “sung” by an elcor.

“He’d get a kick out of that,” Shepard mumbled to herself.

“Shepard,” EDI’s voice rung out through the cabin, “Garrus is at the door.”

Shepard’s stomach immediately dropped and she quickly shoved the present into a drawer under her desk.

“Let him in,” Shepard told EDI, the door opened, and Shepard collected herself.

“Hey Shep,” his dual toned voice hit her like a wave, so familiar and so wonderful to listen to.

“Hey,” Shepard casually replied, “are you doing the Secret Santa?”

Garrus’ hand went to the back of his head, “uh, yeah, weird human things.”

Shepard snorted, “definitely.”

Garrus raised an eyebrow, “you don’t celebrate the holiday?”

“Christmas?” Garrus nodded, “nah not particularly, not my thing.”

“Mmm, yeah, I can’t see you wearing a Santa costume anytime soon.”

Shepard laughed heartily, Garrus was the only person who could make her laugh like that. She knew he revelled in it, and his mandibles flexed showing a turian smile.

They talked for the next couple hours about the trip to the Citadel, and other future missions. He talked extensively about the calibration to the guns, which Shepard had a basic understanding of.

He eventually got to the topic of family.

With the Reapers on the front, he was trying to focus on the battles coming up and not so much the odds of beating this war.

Shepard could sympathise with Garrus, though she had no family of her own. She felt it was a strength on her part, no family, nothing to lose.

Shepard checked the time and Garrus did followed her gaze, it was well into the sleep cycle.

“I better go,” Garrus said reluctantly, he stood from the couch and Shepard followed.

“Yeah, I should at least try,” she joked, but it was a real problem, the insomnia got to Shepard. Her dreams filled with the death of the people she loved, plus the constant thoughts drifting through her mind of battle strategy, kept her awake all through the sleep cycle.

“Look Shep,” Garrus placed on his serious tone, “if you ever need to talk…”

“You’re there,” Shepard finished the sentence.

“Exactly,” he lingered by the door just a moment and finally crossed the threshold to the elevator just outside of Shepard’s cabin.

Shepard sighed and looked out into the darkness of space.

“I should at least try,” Shepard repeated but to herself.

She removed most of her clothing, and laid in bed. She looked up the metal roof of her ship.

“EDI, play the sleep playlist.”

“Yes Shepard.”

Classical music played over the speakers at a low volume, it wasn’t enough to distract her thoughts but enough to silence them.

She closed her eyes and waited for the darkness of sleep to take her.

 

* * *

 

Shepard’s alarm beeped, with a groan, she pressed the button down on the clock.

0300 was flashing Shepard, taunting her. She pulled herself from the bed and autopiloted to the shower. The warmth of the water fell over her, and she found her mind catching up to her body.

A ping came over the omni-tool, a message from Traynor.

“Hey everyone!  Just a message to remind you that Secret Santa presents will be swapped in the mess today from 1300 to 1500. There will be traditional Christmas food and drinks!”

Shepard blinked and checked the calendar, she had completely forgotten that Secret Santa would be done the day before actual Christmas.

“Shit,” she cursed herself.

She got dressed and prepared herself for the day.

The day consisted of political talks, that she hated. Writing up reports, that she hated. Reading reports, that she hated. And battle plans for the upcoming mission, which was less painful.

After stretching, she checked the time, 1453. She sighed and picked up the present from underneath her desk.

Suddenly, a flurry of nerves bundles up in her stomach. Her mouth became sticky and her heart began to race.

She reprimanded herself, she could face a horde of husks but giving a present to a friend was scarier. She shook herself and walked to the elevator.

In the mess hall, the entire room was decorated with everything Christmas. Tinsel lined the walls and tables, a Christmas tree holographic Christmas tree was placed on top of the mess table.

“Shepard!” Tali called out to Shepard, she was talking to Garrus and he looked nervous, she watched them and felt the pang of jealousy. She wondered if they were a thing.

Shepard placed a forced smile on her face, “uh, happy christmas guys.” She ruffled her short, red hair.

“Are you going to give your present to someone?” Shepard could hear the smile in her voice.

Shepard raised an eyebrow, “yeah, sure am. Are you?”

“Already have, I got Kaidan.” She pointed to the biotic soldier wearing a Christmas themed beanie and scarf.

As Shepard moved her eyes back to her friends, she caught Tali poking Garrus.

“Ah, Shep,” his hands suddenly went out, holding a sack. His mandibles fluctuated.

She looked dumbfounded at the present, “for me?” She clarified.

She looked back up to Garrus, and also found that Tali had suddenly removed herself from the conversation and over by Traynor.

He nodded, and chuckled, “yeah, for you.”

Shepard lightly picked up the sack from his hands and inspected it, “what are the chances?” She asked herself, “I got you also.”

He blinked a couple times,”I thought this was supposed to be random.”

“I thought so too,” she looked over the blue sack, “it can happen.”

She gave the box to Garrus, the ended up moving to one of the tables away from the main mess table, unwrapping each others presents.

Shepard couldn’t help but admire the packaging, the sack was tied with a ribbon and had a little reindeer bauble attached to the knot.

Garrus appeared to be doing the same with his box, inspecting the little glittering trees and the ribbon.

Quietly, they pulled apart their present. Garrus stopped and started to watch Shepard pull apart all his gift.

Shepard suddenly felt a sense of embarrassment, being watched so closely by Garrus.

A deep breath, and she pulled out the card. It was a traditional cardboard card, with a cute design; candy canes, and stockings. Within it was turian writing. She cursed herself.

“What does it say?” She looked up to Garrus and showed him the card.

“Oh, uh, right,” he stumbled, “I’ll just read it.”

Shepard smiled and nodded.

“Happy Christmas Jane,” her throat tightened, no one calls her Jane, “I hope you enjoy what I got you.” He finished and looked over her face for a reaction. But nothing came, he flashed a panicked look to Tali.

But she did nothing.

Shepard started to laugh, “Jane?”

It made Garrus jump a little. Using her first name was so unexpected, so unnatural. She would never admit it, but she enjoyed the way it sounded coming from him.

“Thank you Garrus,” she chuckled quietly to herself, and opened searched through the sack. Inside contained a Christmas beanie, similar to Kaidan’s, she placed it to the side. Then she found her old dog tags.

It felt as if her heart stopped, she clutched to the cold metal and looked up to Garrus. He looked serious almost, his mandibles barely flexed and he was looking at her intensely.

She swallowed the lump building up in her throat and gave a smile, she continued to search through her bag and found some chocolates that she loved.

“Thank you,” her voice croaked, “I don’t know how you got this, but thank you.” She stood from her chair and hugged Garrus. Garrus went stiff at her touch but quickly relaxed, his hands wrapped around her in a comforting manner.

She quickly removed herself from Garrus once she realised she was lingering, and sat down. She placed the beanie on her head, “how do I look?”

“Ama- great,” his mandibles twitched into a smile.

“Wanna open yours?” She mentioned to her present, feeling the blush crawl on her face.

Garrus gently opened the ribbon, careful not to destroy the box. He lifted the lid from the box as just as gentle.

His eyes widened and his mandibles stopped moving for a moment.

He looked picked up the card that was sitting on top of everything, he moved it this way and that watching as the hologram’s 3D image moved in the same way.

He opened the card and…

“Cheefully: Jingle bells, jingle bells…”

Suddenly, the entire mess went silent, listening to the Elcor version of Jingle Bells.

Then like a popped bubble everyone burst out laughing.

“Where’d you find that Commander?” Said someone from somewhere.

Garrus was cackling, his mouth open wide, his teeth on display.

Shepard shook herself from the thoughts that plagued her and at such an innocent moment.

“Amazing Shepard,” said Garrus, he looked over it in wonder, others gathered around the table to have a look at the card. Out of nowhere, Tali and Traynor stepped in and ended up moving the crowd away from Shepard. Card in tow.

His eyes went back down to find what else was in the box.

He chuckled lightly and pulled out the stickers of Shepard.

“Really?” He looked over them and then showed them to Shepard.

“I thought you’d like my pretty face,” she pouted.

Garrus stopped, she watched as the cogs turned.

“Ah don’t worry,” she smiled and waved off the stupid joke.

“A-ah, right,” Garrus cleared his throat and continued digging.

He grabbed a photo and looked over it, he looked softly at it.

“When did you take it?”

“Which one?”

He flipped the picture over and showed Shepard the picture of him calibrating.

“You refused to talk to me, you were _calibrating_ ,” she evil-eyed Garrus, “so I took a picture of you that actually turned out good, ass.” She smiled widely.

He flipped it over, looked over it, and sighed.

He picked up the other photo and laughed.

“Spirits Shep, you told me you deleted this one, how did you even get it?”

“I have my ways.” Shepard winked.

“Spectres, always doing what they want,” he chuckled. Shepard laughed along with him.

He went into the box and pulled out the last item, a tiny squashed bullet.

He inspected it, “from the Mantis,” it clicked, “Omega.”

“It was lodged in my armour, I pulled it free once I saw it, and decided to keep it,” she smiled softly, “memorabilia, even though it wasn’t the greatest event in our time together, it was something to remind me of seeing you again.”

“Thank you Shepard,” Garrus spoke softly, he placed everything back in the box and closed it up.

Shepard looked around and noticed the entire mess was completely empty, they were the only two people there. Silence fell between them.

Shepard felt awkward looking over Garrus, so she avoided eye contact, Garrus seemed to be feeling the same. He was fiddling with the ribbon.

“We should get back to work,” Garrus said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Oh, right, yeah,” Shepard sighed.

Shepard stood up and held onto the dog tags and the sack they came in and pressed the button to bring the elevator back down. She looked back briefly and saw Garrus staring off and still fiddling with the ribbon.

She turned back to the elevator and pressed the button again.

“EDI?” Shepard called out.

“Yes Shepard,” EDI’s voice spoke over the comms.

“What’s up with the elevator?” The feeling of anxiety flowed within her.

“The elevator is currently under scheduled maintenance, you’ll may be here for a while,” EDI responded, “I would suggest you to take this time to relax.”

“Relax?” Shepard felt her fists clench and unclench, “I need to get back to work EDI, what’s the ETA on the fix?”

“I will let you know Shepard, signing you out.”

“EDI?” Shepard yelled out, and bashed her hand against the metal doors.

“Shepard,” the dual-toned voice spoke out and rested his hand against her shoulder, “we can hang out.”

Shepard cringed but hid it behind a sigh, “right, yeah.” She turned to him, and her eyes widened, he was closer to her than she expected.

She could smell him, the scent of mint, “did you wash before coming here?” Her mouth moved before she thought. Her face flared up and her hand moved to her mouth.

Garrus chuckled awkwardly, “yeah, I did.”

“I honestly feel set up,” Shepard quickly changed the subject, she leaned into the hand that still held her shoulder.

“Is it that obvious?” Garrus removed himself from Shepard, “Tali has been bugging me for the last month about your present.” He sighed and began to walk to his usual room.

Shepard followed him, “what do you mean?”

Garrus shrugged and turned his head to the side, and began to walk towards the calibration room, “sending me links to certain items, when I told her what I put in it, she seemed thrilled.” Shepard gave him a questioning look, “she knew you’d love it.”

“Right,” the door to the room opened with a pressure release, they both entered into the room without a sound.

Shepard sat in her usual spot, a portable cot for Garrus. He joined her.

“Look Shep,” he breathed out, Shepard found her stomach do flips, her eyes wide, the urge to look away stronger than the urge to look, “I need to tell you something.”

She felt her throat tighten, and her mouth become sticky.

“Maybe I should have told you sooner, maybe you feel the same…”

“Yes.” Shepard feebly spoke, she cringed, she didn’t mean to say anything.

“Huh?”

She swallowed harshly, “nothing continue.”

Garrus gave her a look and breathed out, “I enjoy us, every moment we have together it feels like the final piece of the puzzle I was missing.”

Shepard accidentally let out a snort, Garrus looked at Shepard with a scowl.

“Please Shepard,” he reprimanded.

“I’m sorry! It’s corny!” She laughed lightly, “you idiot.” The tightening of her stomach gone, elated, and maybe a little flustered.

She moved in with her new found confidence, she rested her forehead against his and leaned further in to placed a kiss on his lip plates.

Her soft lips touched his hardened plates.

“Jane,” he whispered softly.

His gloved hand grasped her own, and a new feeling placed itself at the bottom of her belly. It wasn’t the unsure nervousness, the anticipation of rejection, the horrible feeling of the unknown.

It was the feeling of change, of something new.

But the lingering doubt suddenly placed itself within her. Her feeling crushed by the thought of the war.

“The war,” she croaked, he was so close and yet the temptation to hold him at arms length was almost overwhelming.

“Don’t think about it now,” he whispered, “not during this holiday.”

Shepard groaned and rolled her eyes, “it’s just Christmas, it doesn’t stop the Reapers.”

“Shut up Shepard,” he placed his forehead against hers this time, and they just sat in the comfortable silence for a moment, “we can do this if you want.”

Shepard basked in his warmth, “I want to,” she said, “but if I die.”

“You won’t, I’ll have your six and so do so many others. All of us together are an army in itself.” He took a deep breath through his nose, taking in Shepard’s scent. He began to purr, his body rumbling against her own.

“We can’t assume the best,” she mumbled.

“No, we don’t have to,” Garrus agreed, “but we need to keep sane, if you die, I die, we die, why don’t we… you know.”

Shepard pulled back and looked at Garrus, a smug smile placed itself on her face, “we?”

Garrus sighed, “we enjoy ourselves,” his eyes widened, “but only if you want to, nothing would change if you don’t want it to,” he quickly spat out.

Shepard smiled softly, “I think I would like that, to enjoy ourselves.”

“Really?” Garrus looked slightly dumbfounded, “I think Wrex was right. Scars make women go wild.”

Shepard laughed heartedly, and Garrus laughed with her.

“Shepard,” EDI’s voice called over the intercom, “the elevator maintenance is complete, it is functional.”

“Convenient,” Shepard mumbled, “who scheduled the maintenance?”

“I believe Traynor deemed it necessary, I agreed.” EDI spoke with a monotone, but Shepard got the picture.

She sighed, “thanks EDI.”

“Merry Christmas Shepard, logging you out.”

Shepard could only sigh and look to Garrus.

She could feel the impending doom, the risk of failure was high, the weight of the Milky Way on her shoulders. She had Garrus from the start, from the moment he joined her on the Normandy, but it was different now, an intimacy she refused to give was given to the man she trusted most. She felt vulnerable but stronger than ever.

Days passed and the air around them changed, it wasn’t the joking kind of flirting dynamic they had before. But it was wishy flirting, a genuine smile at things they referred to, a small laugh at the jokes they made, the light blush on Shepard’s face and the slight change in tone from Garrus or the flexing of his mandibles in a certain way.

The crew noticed immediately, with a playful jab from Joker, then a serious chat from Tali to the both of them, Chakwas called Shepard in for the monthly check up and referenced her to some sources about human-turian biology, which made Shepard cringe but she thanked her nonetheless.

The war was at it’s peak but together they could live through it, a new sense of hope.


End file.
